You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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