Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
