did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.