I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.