"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
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She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
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I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.