So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing