I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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