My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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