Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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