I'm going to rape someone's good day.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
