Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
