TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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