An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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