Your dad touched me again.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
