Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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