think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
