It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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