Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Randomize
