she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Randomize
