i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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