i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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