Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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