Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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