i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
