i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
