wrigley field is MILF paradise
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
