I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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