If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
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