You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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