adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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