i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
