But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
