I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Just invented taco cereal.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
