The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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