dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
