Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm sobbing to NWA
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
