She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
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