Pregnant stripper...not hot.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
