and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
