He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
