fuck your aforementioned shoe
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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