guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
