His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
They have beer where we have blood.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
