Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
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