whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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