How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
