can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
