none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
