Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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