if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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