AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
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