you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Randomize
