quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Randomize
