dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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