Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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