hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
