normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
