Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
