he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
