their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....