Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  I want your puppy

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  I meant pussy

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I would rather you take my puppy

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  (507): I want your puppy (507): I meant pussy (612): I would rather you take my puppy http://tfl.nu/alg5
  Replies (34) Good night (1423) Bad night (5248)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen

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  (256): There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen http://tfl.nu/2fvb
  Replies (6) Good night (3682) Bad night (539)
• Favorite

  (559): View more from California

  the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.

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  (559): the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more. http://tfl.nu/a0ch
  Replies (5) Good night (888) Bad night (3504)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.

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  (717): so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine. http://tfl.nu/pias
  Replies (11) Good night (4764) Bad night (838)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.

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  (425): Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack. http://tfl.nu/ptag
  Replies (32) Good night (1411) Bad night (8909)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table

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  (206): I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table http://tfl.nu/jkfk
  Replies (5) Good night (2483) Bad night (1150)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.

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  (978): Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday. http://tfl.nu/eeh8
  Replies (13) Good night (2823) Bad night (772)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.

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  (812): Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet. http://tfl.nu/ytjh
  Replies (7) Good night (1268) Bad night (1784)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Sidenote...no idea how to salsa

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  (502): Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing (502): Sidenote...no idea how to salsa http://tfl.nu/2bal
  Replies (2) Good night (1641) Bad night (606)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.

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  (978): It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking. http://tfl.nu/nj2t
  Replies (5) Good night (1535) Bad night (559)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.

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  (520): Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today. http://tfl.nu/5rxw
  Replies (2) Good night (558) Bad night (334)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.

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  (360): I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town. http://tfl.nu/phek
  Replies (5) Good night (629) Bad night (379)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?

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  (415): Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'? http://tfl.nu/ngfc
  Replies (2) Good night (784) Bad night (303)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.

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  (504): You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place. http://tfl.nu/e382
  Replies (0) Good night (410) Bad night (266)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...

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  (516): I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you... http://tfl.nu/3b4d
  Replies (2) Good night (1056) Bad night (323)

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