Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"

(1-401): View more from Rhode Island

um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her

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(401): so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night" (1-401): um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her http://tfl.nu/rdn4

Replies (12) Good night (908) Bad night (2426)
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(573): View more from Missouri

Small penises have feelings too.

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(573): Small penises have feelings too. http://tfl.nu/ikhv

Replies (68) Good night (928) Bad night (3885)
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.

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(780): i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least. http://tfl.nu/btfu

Replies (29) Good night (925) Bad night (2500)
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(870): View more from Arkansas

She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.

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(870): She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call. http://tfl.nu/dsl8

Replies (8) Good night (940) Bad night (4327)
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(616): View more from Michigan

whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.

(231): View more from Michigan

i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.

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(616): whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook. (231): i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment. http://tfl.nu/fvdt

Replies (41) Good night (2169) Bad night (5629)
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(979): View more from Texas

We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.

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(979): We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it. http://tfl.nu/1cxu

Replies (26) Good night (7708) Bad night (1404)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.

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(908): This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/5cs7

Replies (16) Good night (1304) Bad night (3734)
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(305): View more from Florida

does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?

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(305): does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend? http://tfl.nu/qj9q

Replies (10) Good night (1795) Bad night (3190)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard

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(717): But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard http://tfl.nu/v6zl

Replies (4) Good night (1092) Bad night (1512)
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(815): View more from Illinois

I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.

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(815): I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost. http://tfl.nu/ucyv

Replies (7) Good night (2059) Bad night (754)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides

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(617): I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides http://tfl.nu/z2rz

Replies (2) Good night (1860) Bad night (710)
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(281): View more from Texas

You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"

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(281): You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike" http://tfl.nu/m449

Replies (1) Good night (1379) Bad night (500)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.

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(+44): I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy. http://tfl.nu/urw4

Replies (4) Good night (649) Bad night (546)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.

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(423): hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT. http://tfl.nu/qhme

Replies (5) Good night (1853) Bad night (507)
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(506): View more from New Brunswick

I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers

(506): View more from New Brunswick

I wanted to have tiny guns for tits

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(506): I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers (506): I wanted to have tiny guns for tits http://tfl.nu/ic3h

Replies (0) Good night (638) Bad night (331)

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