Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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