Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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