I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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