Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
