So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
